


Empty // Ambrollins

by Mindlesssins



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Implied Relationships, M/M, Songfic, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mindlesssins/pseuds/Mindlesssins
Summary: //song used: Empty: boyinaband &jaiden animations\\trigger warnings: eating disorders (i believe i am the first one to write this kind of fic)





	Empty // Ambrollins

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic on here, i have a ruby riott fic on my tumblr astrangebouquetofimagines  
> ...
> 
> anyways, proceed with caution

'Mirror mirror on the wall, yeah  
Tunnel vision on the flaws'

Seth looked in the mirror ‘It has to be lying to me’ he thought, nothing looked right to him, to him it seemed like he was too big. The sight of himself made him sick, he tried hard to correct it, but nothing was effective to him and he was desperate to not look like he thought he did.  
"I can help you, trust me, you’re ready" a voice in his mind said, it seemed dangerous, But it said to have faith in it. "The secret is to just be empty". He didn’t realize it was stupid, but it was already too late.  
“What could it hurt to try?”

'And at first, it was working  
But then things were emerging  
Cracked lips and tired eyes'

He didn’t bother to count how many times he put chapstick on today and here he was putting on another layer, not to mention the dark circles under his eyes. He stayed far away from catering because everyone but him was taking notice that he was dropping weight like bricks.  
“Christ almighty Seth” Dean said walking into his dressing room and setting his jacket on a chair. “You look like shit, did you get enough sleep?”  
“Yes I did Dean,” Seth responded as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes, it was true he got enough sleep, he was just fatigued.  
“Really?” Dean asked “cause those eyebags say otherwise.”  
“Shut up dean,” he said getting up from his chair “I’m gonna head to glam squad to get these covered up.” With that said, Seth left the room and Roman entered  
“Dean,” he said quickly “we need to talk about Seth.” Dean nodded, he knew exactly what they were going to talk about.  
“He looks even worth than last month Ro...” Dean said quietly “he keeps saying he ate at catering, but when I ask anyone who was in catering, they say he was never there.”  
Seth could hear them through the door, he then walked to the gorilla where he was supposed to meet up with Dean.

'I’m shivering and shaking, and I tell myself it’s fine, but  
You can’t fool your body, you can only fool your mind,yeah'

“Burn it down!” the crowd screamed as he walked out to ring, it made him smile that there was a group of people who didn’t poke and prod at him, they just cheered and watched him dominate the ring.  
The crowd roared even louder when deans theme hit, dean got into the ring enthusiastically and bounced around happily.  
“This match is a tag match scheduled for a one fall,” Jojo said into the mic “In the ring at a combined weight four hundred and forty-two pounds… Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins!” Not long after Cesaro’s alarm went off which lead into Sheamus’ theme. “And their opponents at a billed weight of four hundred and ninety-nine pounds, The Bar!”  
“I’m gonna start the match Dean” Seth said, Dean cocked an eyebrow at him.  
“Sure about that hot stuff?” Dean asked, Seth nodded and Dean shrugged at him and on the other side of the ropes as Sheamus and Seth linked up.  
“You okay little fella?” Sheamus asked, Seth nodded and went for a kick “You sure Seth? You’re shaking.”  
“I’m fine!” Seth said “Let’s get this match over with!” 

'Empty  
I just need to be empty  
Hide from anybody who’ll prevent me'

He knew Roman and Dean are onto him, they can’t make him eat again, he feels like he looks great and he slowly looking better, they can’t tarnish that!  
“Hey Seth!” Dean said hopefully “Wanna go out to dinner with Ro and I? Were going to go to your favorite restaurant… You know, Owens’ with the really good meatball subs?”  
‘Just fill up on water and shame!’ Seth’s mind sneered  
“No, I’m not hungry, I just ate” Seth smiled falsely, over the course of a few months he developed a taste for it, the neverending ache just so he felt like he was in control while denying the fact that he was sick.  
“Okay…” Dean said sadly “Be careful seth.”  
“I am careful.”

'Been getting even worse  
All the days begin to merge, yeah  
Just a blurry haze and now it’s  
Almost second nature to ignore the urges  
Can’t trust my own nature'

‘Every calorie is a failure’ seth’s mind told him as he looked at the plate of breakfast Roman set in front of him. ‘You want to eat? Bite your tongue’  
‘Scrambled eggs: 91’  
‘Sausage: 229’  
‘Toast: 75’  
His mind listed, he looked around to see if Roman or Dean was looking, they weren’t, so he took the opportunity to stuff the food in his pockets just to flush it down the hotel toilet. He will admit, this was embarrassing, but he just had to stomach it so they would believe he ate.  
‘They don't know what you want’ his mind said.

'But it’s so overwhelming  
And I hope no one can tell  
‘Cause the numbers keep decreasing  
This ordeal is becoming routine, check  
Arms, back, neck, thighs  
Suck it in and pinch my sides  
The scales are betraying me  
The mirror is a lie, yeah'

Numbers. It all comes down to the numbers, he weighed himself on the work scale everyday, checked his body to make sure his body stayed small and hopefully got smaller daily. He knew Dean and Roman we growing more and more worried for him, but the more the numbers decreased the more he felt better about himself.  
“Seth!” Dean said pounding on the door “Enough’s enough! We need to talk!”  
“Its open Dean” seth said “we can’t lock them.” Dean walked into the dressing room and gasped when he saw what Seth had done to himself, his ribs stuck out and his hip bones did too, to dean he looked dead.  
“Oh my god… Seth...” dean inched close to him and pulled him into a gentle hug, seth realized how bad he had gotten when deans tears pooled in his collarbone.

'I know it’s wrong but  
Just because you know you’re colorblind  
Doesn’t mean you can see the colors'

“Fine, I admit I’m addicted!” Seth said when dean came into his hotel room and they started to have a proper conversation with him. “But the hunger feels good and i don’t know how to quit this”  
“You going to die if you don’t listen to your body seth!”  
“I know I could die, I’ve seen the statistics!” seth said angrily  
“Seth, i don’t want you to become a statistic” Dean said “cause if you become a statistic, I lose one of my brothers.”  
“Can’t you tell i don’t want to be a statistic either!” Seth spat, he struggled to get out the last of his sentence without tears “But I don’t know how to bounce back anymore, I need help Dean.”

'I can reach out  
To someone not like me  
If you ask for help, it doesn’t make you weak  
I can reach out  
To someone not like me  
I can help my mind learn to trust my body'

Seth slowly got better with help from Dean, Roman, and surprisingly Alexa Bliss, but he was still struggling from time to time.  
Dean and Roman made sure Seth ate everything he could manage on his plate and checked his pockets after every meal, they asked Alexa to help when Seth was about to have a nervous breakdown when checking to see if he is maintaining his billed weight or when they were starting to get him to eat again, it was hard work, but at least Seth wasn’t empty anymore.


End file.
